(Note: I began writing this blog post five years ago; it’s been languishing, an unfinished draft, since February 2020 — partly because it’s so silly I wasn’t sure I should publish it. I still have strong doubts, but what the heck. Please enjoy it in the spirit of utter foolishness it deserves.)

Lewis Carroll’s classics Alice Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass have been favorite books of mine since childhood. I loved all the wonderfully crazy poems in both of them — to the point that I memorized two and proudly recited them for a speech class in junior high school. One was, of course, “Jabberwocky.” The other, declaimed by Humpty Dumpty, didn’t seem to have a title but told a story of the narrator’s clash with some mischievous fish. Even though I’ve always been a very nervous public speaker, I did enjoy reciting these poems for my (most likely quite bemused) adolescent classmates. The poem’s abrupt ending did feel extremely awkward to me, though, as I returned to my desk amid dead silence.

40+ years later….

The other night I was having trouble getting to sleep, my mind ranging over a wide variety of topics. I was also distracted by loud ticking of the clock, so I decided to very quietly recite my two Lewis Carroll poems using the clock as my metronome. When I got to the end of the poem about the fish, I suddenly had the bright idea to craft a more satisfying ending — and away I went! Needless to say, I got very little sleep that night. Still, I can now present Lewis Carroll’s poem, followed by my late-night inspiration. I’m certainly not claiming my lines are anywhere near the quality of the original, but this little project has reminded me how much fun poetry can be!

Humpty Dumpty’s poem:

In winter, when the fields are white,
I sing this song for your delight —

In spring, when woods are getting green,
I’ll try and tell you what I mean:

In summer, when the days are long,
Perhaps you’ll understand the song:

In autumn, when the leaves are brown,
Take pen and ink, and write it down.

I sent a message to the fish:
I told them ‘This is what I wish.’

The little fishes of the sea,
They sent an answer back to me.

The little fishes’ answer was
‘We cannot do it, Sir, because –‘

I sent to them again to say
‘It will be better to obey.’

The fishes answered, with a grin,
‘Why, what a temper you are in!’

I told them once, I told them twice:
They would not listen to advice.

I took a kettle large and new
Fit for the deed I had to do.

My heart went hop, my heart went thump:
I filled the kettle at the pump.

Then someone came to me and said
‘The little fishes are in bed.’

I said to him, I said it plain,
‘Then you must wake them up again.’

I said it very loud and clear:
I went and shouted in his ear.

But he was very stiff and proud:
He said, ‘You needn’t shout so loud!’

And he was very proud and stiff:
He said, ‘I’d go and wake them, if –‘

I took a corkscrew from the shelf:
I went to wake them up myself.

And when I found the door was locked,
I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked.

And when I found the door was shut,
I tried to turn the handle, but —

And now, my conclusion to the poem:

An open window then I spied:
“Aha! I have you now!” I cried.

I clambered in with stealthy tread:
I sought the fishes in their bed.

The little fishes were not home —
I stood inside the room alone.

And though my fury knew no bound
T’was then methought I heard a sound:

I turned to see the door was crack’d —
And that is when the fish attacked!

They beat me up, they beat me down,
I tried in vain to stand my ground.

They beat me short, they beat me long,
And all the while they sang this song:

“In winter when the fields are white
I sing this song for your delight…”

Et cetera ad infinitum